Blake Tarr’s Hipster Scale

HIPSTER SCALE:

The higher the Hipster rating on the Hipster scale, the more Blake wanted to bang his head on the table and end his life with the 1950s James Dean inspired switchblade butter-knife in front of him.

0/5 Weezer Cd’s:

Could not be better! A hipster accidently walks in and their head spontaneously explodes into dust. Just before the body hits the ground, someone pops out and says “Whoopsie” Mortal Kombat-esque and we pour copious amounts of PBR out for our fallen comrade. Eat or drink here if you get an opportunity. Sexy as some Pork and Beans!

1/5 Weezer Cd’s:   w

This place is enjoyable. While it has a few flaws, the atmosphere, setup, food, and drink all work together to create an intense desire to return to this place. A Yinz Hungry? reader will absolutely enjoy this establishment.  Almost as pleasant as An Island In The Sun!

2/5 Weezer Cd’s:    ww

While providing an enjoyable eating or drinking experience, it may be possible for one or two hipsters to scurry inside and remain undetected.  The food and drink are good enough to be praised but there is some element that could be improved for a better overall experience.  We are good but not great; just beginning to enjoy The Good Life.

3/5 Weezer Cd’s:    www

Blake does not feel the need to describe average. You know average!  Unfortunately this is the type of place which can start to become a breeding ground for hipsters, which grow similar to bacteria. Just like Beverly Hills, venture at your own risk.

4/5 Weezer Cd’s:   wwww     

Houston we have a problem. You walk in and “My name is Jonas” is playing on the speakers. Hipsters are flourishing in their natural habitat, but hate it because it is starting to become popular. The food, drink, or service is at the same level as the customers’ hygiene….poor. Say it Ain’t So!

5/5 Weezer Cd’s:  wwwww     

DEFCON -1! Blake should have never entered the establishment. He knows it, they know it. Now there is a good possibility that only one of us may exit alive. Walking in may turn your jeans so skinny that breathing becomes difficult and your health is at risk. Only In Your Dreams should you enter this place.

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2 thoughts on “Blake Tarr’s Hipster Scale

  1. Pingback: Dobrá Tea | Yinz Hungry?

  2. Pingback: Dobrá Tea | Yinz Thirsty?

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